DEALING WITH DATING-APP FATIGUE?
Beat the burnout with these tips
We read a lot of dating news here at Couple, and there’s a one topic we see pop up time and time again: singles find online dating exhausting.
Honestly, we didn’t need a Google Alert to tell us that … we’ve scrolled, swiped, and searched through enough dating apps ourselves to be intimately familiar with the burn-out of looking for a bb.
In fact, if you’re anything like us, you’ve uninstalled and reinstalled your go-to dating platform too many times to count. When meeting people starts to feel like a chore versus a choice, bailing seems logical.
But the problem with this strategy is that online dating is pretty much the primary way our generation meets people. When you’re looking for a relationship, a hook-up, or something in between, taking yourself out of the dating-app game isn’t always desirable or practical.
So when you’ve hit the proverbial wall, what can you do to revive the fun and fruition of online dating? Here are a few tips from Couple dating experts.
Mix and match your dating apps
While many of us already use multiple dating apps simultaneously, it might help to rotate them in a more strategic way.
For example, try limiting yourself to two apps of the same style at a time. That way, when one approach – like swiping and searching, a la Tinder and Bumble – brings on headaches and/or heartache, you can switch to two new apps that take a completely different approach, like Couple or Thursday or, uh, Couple. #shamelessplug
Alternatively, you could pair two different-style apps at a time, which may keep the experience fresh in the moment while still allowing for the ongoing rotation suggested above.
You obviously can choose your own adventure here, but some deliberate mix-and-match action can help you avoid app burnout. Plus, diversifying your usage allows you to experiment with different matching algorithms so that you find the one that “gets you” best. Win-win.
Revisit your dating profile and preferences
Speaking of matching approaches, if you find your dating app’s algorithm is pairing you with the wrong type of people again and again, it could be time to revisit your profile and match preferences.
Even the best matching engines are only as good as the data that fuels them, so make sure your profile is running on premium with as detailed and up-to-date info as possible. In fact, give it a glance every three months or so to make sure it still reflects who you are and what you’re looking for.
And look, we get it. Curating a profile isn’t on anyone’s favorite to-do list. It can be time-consuming at best, stressful at worst. But trust us … taking the 15-30 minutes of introspection that profile-making (or reviewing) requires can save you hours of wasted time and frustration once your account goes live.
Reframe your dating intentions
If your profile is perfection, you’ve flip-flopped apps with the best of them, and you’re still in online-dating purgatory, what do you do?
Time for a gut check. Take a step back and reevaluate your reasons for using dating apps in the first place. Perhaps your initial intentions don’t match your current perspective, or maybe you’ve gotten just a little too intense in your search for a soul mate.
For example, if you’re hyperfocused on finding “the one,” the pressure of assessing a match’s potential could easily overshadow the process of staying present and enjoying their company. (Pursuing a match becomes considerably less fun when you’re constantly assessing the situation through the lens of “will I still think your [insert quirk here] screams ‘marriage material’ when we’re octogenarians?”)
If that sounds familiar, perhaps it’s time to lower the stakes, at least on a date-by-date basis. There’s something liberating about seizing the moment and going with the flow, even if a moment is all it amounts to.
Conversely, if you’re starting to feel unfulfilled as a long-term resident in the no-strings-attached camp, take a step back and reevaluate your romantic needs. Maybe your heart is craving a bit more connection than the standard booty call can fulfill. You never know, right?
Practice your pick-up lines IRL
And fine, we concede. If all else fails, ditch digital dating for a while and see if you can meet people the old-fashioned way: bars, cafes, activity clubs, etc. Kids aren’t the only ones who need to limit their screen time.
But don’t worry, online dating apps aren’t going anywhere, so if and when you’re ready to hop back on the horse, we’ll be here. Just remember to update to your profile when you return.